You're Just 'Talking', So Should You Ask Them to Be Your Valentine?

If you're uncertain about whether or not what you have is official enough, here's how to find out.   

By Henry Adeleye on January 29, 2016 


Well somehow Valentine's Day just snuck up on us again.  It's in two weeks, in case you're still in denial.  And you should definitely know whether or not the person you've been spending all this time with should be your date come the 14th of February.  I mean, you're doing all the "relationship" things (and probably some of the "marriage" things), so it's only right, right?  But in this complicated dating world we find ourselves in, where you're never really "together" even if you're together all the dang time, sometimes you need some reassurance before asking someone out for a holiday that has so many long-term implications.  How do you know if it's real?  How do you know you won't get rejected?  How do you whether or not you should enroll in that geography class B.o.B. is teaching?  These are all things you need to know the answer to before jumping the gun.  Think over the following questions if you're on the fence about whether or not you should ask that person to be your Valentine this year.  If the answer to three or more of these questions indicate that you shouldn't, then well at least you know where you stand:       


Is it serious but not that serious?   

If yes, ask them out.  If it's not even a little serious, don't.     


Have you been "talking" longer than three months? 

If yes, ask them out.  If not, don't.   


Do they laugh at your jokes? 

If yes, ask them out.  If not, they're a mean person and you should end it immediately.   


Have you met their friends?   

If yes, ask them out.  If not, don't.   


Have you met their siblings? 

If yes, ask them out.  If not, you can still ask them out because maybe they hate their siblings.   


Have you met their parents? 

If yes, you shouldn't even need this list of questions.  If not, you can still ask them out because you're just "talking" right?  Stop trying to move so fast to become a part of their family! 


Are all of the above excited when they see you?  Be honest.  

If they are and say things like "She/he talks so much about you!", then ask them out.  If they laugh silently to each other and send each other text messages in your presence, then don't ask them out.   


Do a lot of people know about you two? 

If yes, ask them out or you'll be in the doghouse.  If not, maybe it's not serious enough yet, so don't.   


Do you have any pictures together on social media? 

If yes, ask them out or someone else will when they find out you didn't.  If not, well it's just social media anyway, right?  Right?!   


Do you work together? 

If yes, ask them out.  Avoid the awkward water cooler gossip the next day.  Skip this question if you don't.  


What type of sound does the color orange make?  

Had to throw one in there to make sure you're still paying attention. 


Do you live in the same city? 

If yes, ask them out.  If you live a short enough driving distance, ask them out.  If not, don't.     


Have you been on an actual date together? 

Not have you chilled together?  A real date, with strangers around you.  If yes, ask them out.  If not, don't.    


Is there a chance that someone else may ask them out and they will accept? 

If yes, don't ask them out.  If you can't answer this question, don't ask them out.  If you're sure you're the only one, ask them out.   


Do you regularly talk on the phone, Skype, or FaceTime each other? Not talking about texting, DMing, or Snapchatting.  

If yes, ask them out.  If not, well, still ask them out.  Because that's how things are done nowadays anyway (sadly).   


Are they always "busy"? 

If they are, find someone new.  If they always have time for you, ask them out.   


Do they mention other potential suitors in your presence? 

If they do and they accept your Valentine invitation, it could either be because you were the best option or because you were the last resort. This isn't something you should want to contemplate.  So don't ask them out if they do.  If they don't, the coast is clear.     


What's their favorite color? 

What do you mean, you don't know??  If you can find out within five minutes, ask them out.  If not, they're probably pissed you had to ask.   


Good luck!