Why You Shouldn't Lead Someone on If You're Not Interested

Time is precious.  Don't let someone else's go to waste. 

By Henry Adeleye on February 20, 2015 


They never talk about future plans with you.  They disappear for days or weeks and give lame excuses for their absences when they finally do return.  They try to act like you're just friends whenever someone of the opposite sex catches their eyes in public.  Sorry to break it to you, but they're leading you on.  One of the things this past Valentine's Day probably made you realize was the status of the relationship or "situationship" you may find yourself in.  Some people figured out that there's at least a sign of life in their relations.  Others, unfortunately, found out that the person they have been dedicating a significant amount of time to doesn't feel the same way they do.  This situation happened to a friend of a friend of a cousin of a co-worker of mine, whose name I can't reveal, so it hits home, sort of.  It's easy to see why people are marrying themselves these days.   

Time is money.  Time is precious.  Time is one of the few things you can never get back.  When you lead people astray, you take away some of their most eligible dating years.  Even worse, you waste their time.  Time that could have been spent meeting people they could have found a deeper connection with.  There are probably a bunch of other people they could have married by now (or at least gone on a decent date with), but now they're fatigued from chasing the dangling carrot in the hamster wheel.  Of course, you never want to be a jerk towards people, and sometimes it's hard to be straightforward when you realize things aren't as they seem.  And if you happen to be a genuinely nice person, you especially have trouble with this.  There is, however, a thin line between being nice and being inconsiderate of others' feelings, and most people know when they're being intentionally misleading. 

Make no mistake, there are signs people can see to let them know if they're being led on.  My friend's friend's cousin's co-worker, whose name I can't reveal (this is getting difficult), saw these signs but still chose to invest more time and money than necessary into the situation.  So, it's never entirely the other person's fault.  And, like Maya Angelou said, when someone shows you who they are, believe them.  Always be aware of the situations you find yourself in.  Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.  For your heart isn't good at detecting things that your brain can see clearly, and your heart can make you do regrettable things that your brain could have told you a long time ago weren't smart.  In essence, be upfront with the people you talk to.  Keep an open line of communication and be courteous of your companion's time.  And if you don't think it will work out, let the other person know sooner rather than later, so they don't end up like the person this article is about, whose name I can't reveal.