The Modern Day Guide to Chivalry

How to be chivalrous to women who kick ass.   

By Henry Adeleye on October 3, 2014 


Women today are kicking ass and taking names, including yours.  Here's how to treat them like the wonderful people they are, without looking like an idiot.   


In the ever-confusing and ever-disappointing black hole we call the dating world, the rules have changed, but some of the people have not.  That's why GQ writer Lauren Bans was kind enough to bless the world with the new rules for chivalry.  Here are a few gems.  Avoid at your own risk.   


OLD RULE:  Always hold the door. 

NEW RULE:  Almost always hold the door.     

No woman is going to chop your arm off for holding the door for her.  It's really a common courtesy that you should do for anyone, unless you're just an evil person.  Just don't pull the ole running up to hold the door while the person you're holding it for is 1,500 feet away routine.  There's nothing cool about making them make the awkward half-sprint to get into the door as quickly as possible.  That defeats the whole purpose.  Oh yeah, always open car doors.     


OLD RULE:  The man always pays. 

NEW RULE:  If she asks, she pays.   

This is a tough one that many probably won't follow, but well, here it is anyway.  Get over it.  According to Bans, no guy should be required to pay for every meal, concert ticket, or couples trip to the Clermont Lounge (if that’s your type of thing).  If she asks you out to dinner, don't sweat it if she wants to foot the bill, or at least her half of it.  It doesn't mean she's not interested in you and trying not to make you feel guilty for spending your money for something that won't work out.  Well, it could mean that.  But most likely it doesn't.  Sometimes she may just be a nice person.   


OLD RULE:  Order for her. 

NEW RULE:  Never order for her. 

This is a tradition that probably started back when the man was catching the family's dinner with his bare hands out in the freezing Arctic wilderness.  And well, if you didn't want what he caught, tough luck.  But in the modern age of food being caught and cooked by other humans, we can let go of that tradition.  Women know how to read menus and decide what they want to eat, so don't act like an overprotective dad.  (Now, if you really want to impress her, let her pick out your meal)   

*Exception:  If they're working super late.    

OLD RULE:  Put your phone away. 

NEW RULE:  Put your phone away. 

Pretty self-explanatory.  Don't be that douchebag who spends more time looking at his phone to text his friends or catch up on his losing fantasy league team than he does with his date.  At least wait until she excuses herself to go to the bathroom to text her friends.   


OLD RULE:  Stand up when they enter a room. 

NEW RULE:  Sit your butt down somewhere.   

Save yourself from looking like one of those British Royal guards who never smile.   


OLD RULE:  Punch people to defend her honor. 

NEW RULE:  Do not punch people to defend her honor. 

Some guy rudely pushes up on your date, breaking the three-foot personal space rule.  You're thinking you should go show him how tough you are.  Don't do it.  Women are prettier and smarter than you (according to many nationwide studies).  They can get away from thirsty guys themselves.  In fact, they've probably been figuring out clever ways to turn guys down since they were about 10.  Besides, fighting just isn't cool anymore.   


OLD RULE:  Fight off home intruders. 

NEW RULE:  Go downstairs if she hears something, anything.   

According to Bans, women think it's really nice having someone there to protect them from danger.  Even women who kick ass.  Really, it makes them happy.  And yes, it contradicts the whole women don't need to be saved thingy, but chances are, you're probably physically stronger than she is.  So, you'll have to be the one who gets killed first if something does go down.  Better you than her, I guess.