Meet Alex “Cost One“ Acosta
By Kai Smith on November 26, 2019 @legitlacesatl
Meet Alex “Cost One” Acosta, the co-founder and executive director of the Soul Food Cypher. You may be asking yourself, “What exactly is a cypher?”. Now, there can be some negative stereotypes attached to the word, but Alex refutes this whole heartedly.
In Acosta’s own words, a cypher is “a circle in which art takes place… it’s raw and authentic, and an on-the-spot microcosm of our community.” Cyphers and the lyrics flowing from them are a, “mechanism of survival and healing” for many individuals, according to Acosta. While it may seem like a loud and unorganized circle of people, a cypher is actually very well structured. In the circle, Emcees (rappers) take turns improvising lyrics in real time. The goal of each Emcee is to present their authentic self and inspire the next Emcee to perform and do the same. Surrounding this group of Emcees is the audience. They not only listen to the current Emcee, but also provide real-time feedback by their vocal reaction.
Acosta had taken this creative expression to the next level when he co-founded the Soul Food Cypher in 2012. He and other trusted members have worked to create a safe space that encourages fellowship, applauds individuality, and most of all provides a nurturing environment for the art and community to grow. Additionally, The Soul Food Cypher has facilitated multiple events and programs over the last 8 years. One of these programs is a local after school program called WordShop. The goal of this program is to expose children to new forms of creative expression and teach them the history behind Hip Hop Culture and its African roots. Acosta mentioned how these programs and The Soul Food Cypher has allowed him the unique opportunity to watch and shape the personal development of the members and children across Atlanta.
Alex has been coming to Kupcakerie for the last three years since our doors opened to the public. Whether it’s critiques on a new movie, conversations around the impact of culture and city development, or recommending music to play in the shop, a friendship between us and Alex has grown. Hopefully one day, The Soul Food Cypher will be hosted at Kupcakerie!
Meet Kaseem Ladipo
By Kai Smith on May, 31, 2019 @legitlacesatl
Kaseem Ladipo has been a loyal customer of Kupcakerie for the past two years, coming in regularly to buy cupcakes and coffee. However, his loyalty to his community doesn’t end at cream cheese frosting.
Kaseem was the Executive Director of two educational programs, member of the College Park Historical Society Board, proud husband and father, and is currently a 2019 candidate for Mayor of College Park, GA.
His platform has a heavy emphasis on educational programs in and out of school, building community leadership by increasing civic engagement and creating a more diverse mix of businesses in College Park’s commercial districts.
Kaseem’s dedication to the children of College Park and their future is immense. He has already pledged to push for financial and technical support for PTAs, public schools, and community organizations that increase resources available for the city’s youngest citizens.
Furthermore, Kaseem wants to make sure College Park supports its citizens just as much as the citizens support College Park. He plans to do this by creating quality affordable housing options and building a coalition of leaders from diverse backgrounds who will come together to voice and tackle the concerns raised by the public.
From Kaseem coming into our store over the past two years, we were able to learn a little bit about his story and were eager to share. If you want to get more information, be sure to check out his website.
]]>How One of Our Customers Provides a Voice to the Voiceless
By Henry Adeleye on June 11, 2018
Many people think homelessness is a problem too big to tackle head on. Terence Lester and his team think differently. Terence and his wife, Cecilia, founded Love Beyond Walls, a non-profit dedicated to eradicating homelessness and raising awareness of the needs of those who often get overlooked.
Terence has shown a huge dedication to his cause, including living as a homeless man in order to gain a better understanding of the lives lead by the people he is trying to help. That meant sleeping under a bridge, having to beg for money, getting kicked out of restaurants, and being in and out of homeless shelters. He also walked (yes, walked) from Atlanta to the Lorraine Motel in Memphis to honor Dr. King this past year, as part of his March Against Poverty initiative in conjunction with the Center for Civil and Human Rights.
As Terence has become a regular at Kupcakerie, stopping in to fuel up before his daily grind, we came to learn his story and were tremendously inspired. Check out Love Beyond Walls to learn more and see how you can help.
]]>Wedding between the Loves on Love Day.
By Henry Adeleye on February 26, 2018
On the evening of February 14, 2018, the first wedding we had in its entirety at the shop took place between Tarin and Thomas Love. Fitting name for a Valentine's Day matrimony. Tarin and Thomas had their first date at a cupcake shop and thought it would be super fun to tie the knot at ours. Interested in a simple but chic ceremony, they planned it out perfectly. Here's to many years of happiness and success for these two. Check out some of their pics below. Courtesy of MNA Photography. Cake and cupcakes courtesy of Kupcakerie.
Some of the best advice in the world is the advice we give to other people.
By Henry Adeleye on January 1, 2018
Some of the best advice in the world is the advice we give to other people. I can't even recall the amount of relationship or business advice I've given to friends and customers alike, thinking that their lives would be set if they just took this advice to heart. When it comes to advice for ourselves, however, we're usually unsure of where to look.
How many times have you told your friend that she should let him go, even though you're with someone you should've been let go? How many times have you told a mentee to always make sure they're doing what they love, but you haven't made that same leap? Just the other day I was teaching a friend about inventory control then ordered too many boxes for the store a few minutes later. In all honesty, if we followed the advice we give to others, our lives would be improved tremendously.
Of course, it's easier to give advice than it is to take it. Make 2018 the year this changes. If you're looking for direction, think about what you'd tell someone else to do. If you're wondering what your next career move should be, think about the advice you'd give to a brother or sister. And if you're wondering how to improve your relationship (or whether you should be in it at all), tell yourself what you'd tell your best friend. Let's take 2018 by storm.
]]>This Thanksgiving, make the little things matter.
By Henry Adeleye on November 23, 2017
As we begin this day of Thanks and fight over whether there truly is a difference between sweet potato and pumpkin pie (there most certainly is), let's not forget the little things we should all keep close to our hearts. Just the ability to read this is a privilege not all are granted. Imagine the things you miss out on because you're caught up in the daily grind. Take a moment to stop and appreciate. Send a brief message to those struggling with illness, either of themselves or the people they love, and for those who may have lost people close to them. Be thankful for the delicious plate you'll indulge in (and the people cooking it) and for the laughs you'll share with friends and family. Be thankful for the people in your life, especially the ones you have the biggest disagreements with. Put aside the heartache that a lost job may cause and focus on the positive. Every day we have the opportunity to get angry, stressed, or offended. For one day, let's put away our own problems and be thankful for all the little things that life offers.
]]>He wants something, even if he says he doesn’t.
By Henry Adeleye on February 13, 2017
While baking most mornings, we have pretty in-depth conversations about various topics. Today, of course, we talked about Valentine's Day. I asked the girls what they're getting their significant others tomorrow. Their responses kind of took me aback. They all said that guys don’t get Valentine's Day gifts. Maybe their guys had something to do with the Falcons losing the Super Bowl. That was the only reason I could think that they don't deserve at least a handwritten note. Or maybe it's Trump's fault. Either way, I wondered if I was the only one who thought this was kind of weird. Anywho, I got them down to the point where they at least asked what guys are supposed to get for Valentine's Day, since most won't really want flowers or a giant Teddy Bear (besides me). So, I did a scientific study to see what type of things make good Valentine's Day gifts for guys. And by scientific I mean I asked one close friend. Actually, it was my brother. So here's what we came up with:
A Card
The least you can do is get him a card. Write a special little note in there to show him how much he means to you, if you'd like. Or don't. But at least get the card.
Sports Tickets
If he's a sports fan, this is a cool way to show that, even though you may not like it when he watches the games all day, at least he can go do it alone so you can have the TV to yourself.
A Haircut
Nothing makes a guy feel like he can take on the world like a fresh haircut. Help make him feel powerful. Plus he'll look better on your date.
Shoes
A guy can never have too many. Look for something that's lacking in his current wardrobe.
An Experience
When we look back on life, we'll always remember our experiences more than our things. So providing an experience will go a long way. Whether it's a trip to a museum, test driving his favorite car, or even going rock climbing, this is a good way to go.
Boxers/Socks/Undershirts
This is something he doesn’t realize he needs until it's too late. Don’t let it be too late.
Mani/Pedi
Because you don't want his hands to always look like he's been punching bricks, or his feet to look like he's been kicking rocks, literally.
Clothes
You can't go wrong with a nice Polo.
Food
If he's taking you out to dinner this year, buy him lunch the next day.
Candy
Everyone has a little sweet tooth. Find out what his favorite candy is and let him indulge for a day.
Alcohol
Get his favorite bottle, or a cold six pack.
Cologne
Give him a little refill of your favorite cologne of his.
God
If religion is his thing, of course.
]]>Come check out our new stuff.
By Kupcakerie on January 8, 2017
It's a New Year and we wanted to start it off with some new things. By popular demand, we will be beginning our new 'Eats' menu on Monday, January 9th.
Morning items will come courtesy of Atlanta-based H&F Bread Co. and will include bacon cheddar croissants, almond biscotti, bagels, and muffins. But wait, there's more! We'll be opening at 7am for these Eats, as well as coffee. (Cupcakes will still be out at their normal time, unfortunately).
For the afternoon, we'll be teaming up with local food company, Eezy Foodz. They'll be serving up chicken salad sandwiches, berry salads, and house salads. Come on down and grab a bite!
Start the New Year off right.
By Henry Adeleye on January 3, 2017
It's officially 2017. And unless you're Mariah Carey, it's going to be your year. While 2016 was also supposed to be your year, this year is going to be different. One of the most common resolutions people make is to grow their side hustles into something that can eventually pay the bills. Of course that's easier said than done, but every journey starts with baby steps. Check out some of these steps to do just that:
1. Have a side hustle to begin with.
This should go without saying but you never know.
2. Do well at your current job.
The last thing you need to do is get fired. Don't bring on any unnecessary stress.
3. Visualize where you want your side hustle to be in 25 years.
One of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is to begin with the end in mind. Figure out where you want to be ideally, and then conjure up the steps to get there.
4. Write a business plan.
Write a business plan to detail the steps to make your side hustle legitimate. Focus on your market strategies and how to overcome your competition.
5. Save your tax return.
Your initial seed money may already be waiting for you. You can survive not going to Europe for the seventh time.
6. Learn to live a very frugal life.
Cash flow should become your favorite topic. Never spend more than you take in.
7. Sell stuff.
At the end of the day, you don't have a business if you're not selling. This is the hardest part but also the most important part. It's going to take you getting out of your comfort zone and doing something that may be slightly embarrassing. It's easiest to start with your friends and family, but then you'll have to learn how to sell to people you don't know. Make sure you're on all social media platforms and that your pages are focused and updated regularly. Get a website that is clean and easy to navigate. Figure out your target market and where they spend their time.
Once you figure that out, keep finding ways to sell more. If you eventually have to raise money, investors will want to make sure people are buying whatever you're selling, literally and figuratively. There's no way around having to sell.
8. Find a co-founder.
Not only is it impossible to do everything yourself, but you also need more contacts to leverage. Find someone with complementary skills to yours and a different group of friends and co-workers to market your idea to.
9. Set deadlines.
There's a reason people pull all-nighters in school. When you have a deadline set for something, you'll do whatever you can to make sure you meet it, even if it means taking Adder...multiple shots of espresso. The same goes for your side hustle. Set deadlines for when you should have certain milestones complete, whether launching your website, having a certain number of customers, or getting your first storefront. Deadlines are real and they work.
10. Sell more stuff.
Just in case you didn't catch it the first time. Do this well enough and you'll be ready to turn that side hustle into your main hustle.
]]>There's strength in stories.
By Henry Adeleye on October 7, 2016
We're officially into the first week of October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Always believing in doing more than just wearing pink, we interviewed Suzanne Tyree, a breast cancer survivor, to learn her story. Every battle is different, but there are some great insights we can all learn from people who have had to take breast cancer head on. Some excerpts from our interview are below:
When/how did you learn you had breast cancer?
I was diagnosed in June, 2005. I went to see the doctor because I had a bite mark on my breast. She said it was a spider bite, but I wanted to get a mammogram just to make sure. At that time, they found breast cancer in my right breast.
What were your first thoughts?
Due to the fact that I lost my mom to breast cancer, my first thoughts were that I was going to die, too.
How was the treatment process?
It was horrible. I was always exhausted. I had to go to chemo once a week. I would sit in a chair for six hours at a time. Had multiple surgeries. But my faith, family, and loved ones helped tremendously.
What role did your mindset play during the treatment process?
My mindset was that I wanted to live and I was going to do whatever I had to do to fight this. I think that played a major role in getting through everything.
What advice can you give to people going through the same thing?
You're in for the battle of your life, but in the end everything is going to be okay. Keep a good outlook on life and never, ever give up.
What advice can you give to their friends and loved ones?
Try not to let them know you're worried or scared. They need you to be supportive and there for them.
What are the biggest lessons you've learned through it all?
Life is too short, so you have to enjoy every day, and don't take things so seriously. Also, you have to take care of yourself.
]]>What could you do if you took yourself more seriously?
By Henry Adeleye on July 15, 2016
Do you believe that the major triumphs in life are reserved for those special elites? Have you ever wanted to start something but thought no one would notice? Have you ever sold yourself short because you thought big dreams shouldn't leave the bedroom? Maybe you're not taking yourself seriously enough.
There's a guy I know who's always doing things to make sure people know how important he is. Whenever he does that, I always think to myself, "He takes himself way too seriously." He actually does. Don't be like him. But in the sense of believing that even your most far-fetched ideas can come to fruition with a little belief, you can't go wrong with that.
Now more than ever, the world needs people to step up and start stuff. We need more leaders, creators, and believers. We definitely need more good people to run for local, state, and national office. And we need more people to build the next big thing. In short, the world needs more people who take themselves seriously. There are communities that need someone to build them up. Are you going to step up to the plate?
Earlier this week, I read an article about how Little 5 Points here in Atlanta came to be how it is today. In the mid-70s, the area was left abandoned and run down. Then a band of neighbors decided to do something about it. Whole strips of vacant stores were bought by people in the neighborhood who pulled their resources together and built something great. None of them really knew what they were doing at the time, but they took it seriously, nonetheless. Look at it now.
What could you do if you felt the same way about yourself? What injustice could you make right? What benefit could you give society that you've thought too far-fetched to make a reality? Take it seriously and you can make it all happen. We need you to.
Inspired by this piece.
]]>It's hard out there.
By Henry Adeleye on July 1, 2016
Disclaimer: This situation isn't about me.
A friend asked me to write about a relationship situation he's going through. I agreed. Long story short, it's hard out there. Let's get into it:
Situation: His girlfriend of about six months broke up with him. After arguments over random people who liked his pictures on Instagram and even more random people he followed, she finally said enough is enough. She cut it off like she was Britain and he was the EU. And she could care less what the world thought. He was a little shaken and caught off guard by the whole situation. Six months is usually the timeframe when people can't hide who they are anymore, but he certainly didn't expect that. This is something they've argued over in the past. So she felt he should've changed by now. Maybe he should've seen it coming. Anyway, was she wrong for breaking up with him over a somewhat trivial matter? Or should he have just deleted his Instagram account after the first argument to appease her? She's 40, by the way. Not sure if that changes things. But it ̶s̶h̶o̶u̶l̶d̶ may.
Response: Love, like happiness, is a choice. There are a million things that can make you think you should look elsewhere for love, but to build a lasting relationship, you have to consciously choose to ignore those things. Even the perfect person can do some things that can make you think you're better off traveling the world alone in true Millennial fashion. And with every thing that goes wrong, you have to ask yourself if it's worth breaking up over. At what age do we stop taking social media so seriously? If it was going down in the DM, that's a whole 'nother story. But random liking of pictures are a non-event. At the same time though, if something really bothers someone, there are things you can/should do to help ease the tension. That just depends on whether or not you want to make that choice. But I think they're better off broken up. This was a house made of sand built in the water. Mud.
What do you think?
]]>A recap of our weddings the last two weeks.
By Kupcakerie on June 24, 2016
There's summer, and then there's weddings. But when the two collide, they form great balls of fire (or something like that). So far this summer, we've had the chance to help make two similar yet distinct weddings all the more beautiful.
First, we'll start with the Wrights. The Wrights opted for a more traditional wedding venue but wanted something easy to grab when it came to the cake. Their reception was at Little River Farms in Milton, and their choice of cupcakes fit the venue perfectly. They chose two cupcake towers, one representing the groom, and one the bride. And they had a little something for everyone when it came to flavors. This journey was particularly interesting because the bride's dad was in charge of getting everything for the cupcakes together. Believe it or not, dads usually don't get this involved. So kudos to him!
Next, we have the Meyers, who opted for a more chic, industrial wedding reception. Their venue was Monday Night Brewing, a craft beer brewery in Atlanta, so you can only imagine how much fun they must have had. For their cupcakes, they wanted to add a custom raspberry flavor to the mix, so that was fun to come up with. They went with a jumbo cupcake as their cutting cake, and had a 3-D printed airplane as their topper, to celebrate the groom being in the Air Force. The journey to their final product was also interesting because the bride and groom were out of the country during their tasting and relied on the judgment of the bride's mother and the bride's best friend to make sure the right flavors were picked. We're glad to have made the cut! See below for more pictures of each wedding.
A month ago yesterday, we were crazy enough to open a store. You wanna know what we learned? Read on and explore.
By Henry Adeleye on June 3, 2016
We opened our doors in East Point, GA a month ago. It really feels like yesterday. How is it June already? Anywho, in this short period we've learned a lot about ourselves and about business in general. And we've learned even more about people and about our wonderful community. So since we love listicles, we'll use one to go more in depth with some more of what we've learned. Grab a seat.
You meet some very cool and interesting people.
People from all walks of life come through your doors and they all bring a different kind of energy. The diversity is cool.
With even more interesting stories.
Hearing what brought people to the area always turns into a great and/or funny story.
Community is super important.
It's been fun getting feedback and seeing what the community would like to see added. Neighborhood association meetings have been a blast. We're listening.
Women use a lot of toilet paper.
Being married doesn't prepare you for this.
The mayor is super cool and helpful.
And she's not a robot, which is pretty nice.
The permit office will make you vote for Trump.
Like seriously.
Sleep isn't an option.
You'll forget that Atlanta has traffic because you're up before it hits and go home after it's gone.
No one drinks decaf.
I guess I'm just a weirdo.
You make regulars pretty quickly.
Like day two quickly.
There are a lot more vegans than we thought.
And more vegan options are definitely on the horizon. Should be fun experimenting with recipes.
People are what matter most.
Serving people. Learning about people, including yourself. Connecting with people. Finding out their needs and wants. Or what's going on in their lives, good and bad. It's all about people. And we hope to learn even more in the future. Thanks for a great month!
]]>Welcome to Kupcakerie.
By Kupcakerie on April 29, 2016
The time is finally here! After many hurdles, we're excited to announce our grand opening! Soft opening with limited hours starting next Tuesday. Grand opening Saturday, May 7th, at 12:00pm. Cupcakes, coffee, tea, Wi-Fi. Located in Historic Downtown East Point. Let's do this.
2781 Main Street, East Point, GA 30344
]]>Where does trying to ensure safety cross the line of making excuses for guys' behavior?
By Henry Adeleye on April 15, 2016
In the ever more progressive world we live in, ideas that used to just be normal can suddenly seem prehistoric. I mean, who could've predicted that people would use their smartphones to find dates, and then use them again while they're on an actual date with that date. Similarly, just a few years ago, we wouldn't have thought twice about a principal telling schoolgirls to lengthen their skirts to below the knee to keep guys from "getting ideas". But now, we have to look at that kind of thinking with a little skepticism.
A New Zealand school is making headlines for doing just that. A deputy principal at Henderson High School in Auckland has created quite a stir for taking its female students aside into a meeting and telling them that their skirts need to be longer. It wasn't necessarily the rule itself that caused the controversy; it was the rationale he gave. His reasoning was that the move was designed to "keep the girls safe, stop boys from getting ideas, and create a good work environment for male staff."
Now if this seems like he's making excuses for male behavior as if it's some kind of uncontrollable rage that can only be prevented by not ever setting it off in the first place, it's because he is. The fact of the matter is that guys should learn to control their emotions and their hormones, whichever comes first. Girls should not be held responsible for the negative acts of these guys.
Of course, like with anything, there are people who support the deputy principal's actions. Even if these people happen to be musicians you really like (and are maybe or maybe not listening to as we speak), you have to learn to separate their work from their words. And there is a valid argument that we should plan for the world that exists instead of the world that we would like to see. But we can never get to that ideal world if we don't put our foot down somewhere.
So, where do we draw the line between good advice and giving guys a free pass? That's always the toughest question to answer. For me personally, I like to think back to when my brother and another gentleman got their cars broken into in a church parking lot. The thieves tried, unsuccessfully, to take my brother's stereo (though they were very successful in shattering his back window), and they took the other guy's iPhone.
I remember how pissed I was about it, even though the items weren't mine. When we told the pastor of the church what happened, he offered his condolences but said that it was ultimately my brother and the other gentleman's fault for having valuables in their cars in plain view. I recall wondering how the heck he could blame them and not put any implication on the people who broke into the cars., that even if they had a million dollars in a lime green briefcase that said "steal me" sitting on the front seat with the doors unlocked, it's still no excuse to take it. There really was no room for blaming the victims in that situation. And then I concluded that the same applies for these schoolgirls.
]]>Choose Happy.
By Henry Adeleye on April 8, 2016
As we draw nearer to our opening (!!!), I feel like I should be a nervous wreck. But I'm not. With all the things going on in the world around us, it's easy to get caught up in letting things outside our control determine our happiness. The truth is, we are the ones ultimately responsible for it.
It's tough to think of having that burden on you. The burden of being responsible for the way you feel. Of not having anyone to blame for your unhappiness when things don’t go your way. And of course you can't control those actual things, but you can control how you respond to them.
Through the many hoops and hurdles that have been found on this journey, I've found that the only way to get through anything in one piece is to have a positive attitude. I witnessed this when a close friend's father passed. And I witnessed it after the UNC basketball team passed. You just have to brush it off and keep on trekking.
When life throws obstacles your way, choose happy. When you find yourself crying over the same guy who's been doing you wrong since 2010, choose happy. When there's something or someone who decides their only job in life is to make yours a living hell, choose happy. Because no matter what, the decision to be happy is ultimately up to you.
]]>You'd be a "fool" to ignore this advice.
By Henry Adeleye on April 1, 2016
As I logged onto social media at 11:59pm last night, I saw a post from my pastor talking about the new Tesla he just bought. I then saw an article saying that Trader Joe's is closing all of its stores by 2017. Finally, I saw a post about Katt Williams getting found in his home covered in chocolate. Wait, that one actually happened. Anyway, I thought to myself, "My goodness, it has already begun." Here it is, March 31st, and the April fools' jokes just couldn't be held back any longer. They can't even wait until the 1st anymore. So, in an attempt to save myself and anyone like me from the humiliation, I present to you a few ways to avoid falling for those pesky little jokes:
Don't believe any major announcements.
Birthdays, pregnancies, engagements, deaths in the family, car accidents, him telling you he's ready to commit. You're going to have to wait until the 2nd for me to believe you. And sorry if any of these announcements are really true. I mean, one extra day won't hurt, right?
Actually, don't believe anything at all.
Everyone is out to get you. If your boss tells you you're fired, tell him he's fired. If your significant other plans a date night tonight, tell him or her you're busy. You can't let them win.
Stay off the internet.
Well if you're reading this it's too late. But after you're done, log off immediately. People share stuff that isn't true on regular days, so just imagine the crap that will be going around today.
Look straight ahead at all times while walking.
Those little tricksters work best when you're using your peripheral vision. They know there are certain things that can be hidden if you're not looking forward. Stop them in their tracks.
Don't leave your house.
You know what, this is the only thing that can actually work. It's just much too dangerous out there. Too many chances to slip up. Too many temptations. Stay in the comfort of your own home where you can control the situation. Once 12:00am hits, you'll be free. Just don't turn on the TV because then you'll be back at square one.
]]>Why some people would rather have consistency than anything else.
By Henry Adeleye on March 25, 2016
I have a good friend who is the type of guy a lot of girls ask for but rarely put in the effort to secure. He's a really nice guy, chivalrous, cultured, educated, and well-rounded. He actually wants to be in relationships. But for some reason, since his last long-term one about seven or eight years ago, he's had a lot of trouble finding someone he could truly settle down with. He likes super artsy girls, but that always led to inconsistencies. Nice dates but then getting ghosted. Nice convos about art and music but then getting assaulted like Katt Williams. Actually I just made that last part up.
Anywho, so when this new girl started to show up regularly, I started scratching my head. I thought to myself, did he finally find his dream artsy girl who is also ready to settle down? Once I met her, I found that she was a really cool person but was not the type he usually goes for. She was more of a traditional, southern, semi-country girl. And when we would discuss it, he would always say, "Yeah, she's cool for now, but you know my type."
Well, "cool for now" has somehow gone on for over two years. And they're still happily together. A few weeks ago when we were with a bunch of the guys having guy talk (you know, how to stop global warming, the best stories to read to your kids at night, etc.), I asked him how everything was going with the two of them. And he responded that things were going really, really well and he was probably going to end up marrying her. But how could this be? She wasn't his type. He liked them more controversial, more outspoken, less manners.
His response: She's consistent.
And that told me everything I needed to know.
]]>Guys always have a lot on their minds. Here's a little insight.
By Henry Adeleye on March 11, 2016
A few weeks back, a friend of a friend of a friend's friend (trying my best to be anonymous) was going through a dilemma with his significant other. He was having issues finding stable and good paying work, and was pondering an opportunity that was extended to him doing what he loves for good money. Of course it's not that simple. The job was literally as far away from where they live as you can get while still being in the continental US. His wallet was telling him to leave, but he knew he didn't want to go that far away from his lady and their child. In the end, he passed up on the opportunity, but I know it's eating away at him. Being able to provide is just one of the many insecurities guys have. This got me thinking about some other things a lot of guys are insecure about but probably wouldn't admit. So yeah, here you go:
1. Thinking about what will happen if he passes unexpectedly.
He wants to provide even in his absence.
2. That you won't be attracted to him forever.
Especially because he drinks more beer than a human should.
3. Being a bad father.
The dilemma between time and food on the table is always a tough one. And sometimes even relationships can impede. But no guy wants to be a bad father. Even Future.
4. Not being better than his dad.
Because most parents want that for their children. And he'd feel bad disappointing them.
5. Not making enough money.
I even know surgeons who stress over this.
6. Pushing you so far away that you won't come back.
He's afraid of starting all over again.
7. That his kids won't have a better life than he had.
Similar to number 4, but in reverse.
8. That Donald trump will be president.
Sorry, couldn't pass that one up. No disrespect to Trump.
9. About what would happen if he got fired.
So much of how guys are perceived is tied to their vocation, for better or worse.
10. Being stuck career-wise because he's afraid of what will happen if his real plan doesn't pan out.
And then bringing that negative energy from work home every day.
11. Living up to societal expectations.
Of everything.
12. That you'll meet Jesse Williams and ride off into the sunset with him.
He'd probably do the same too. And yeah, he secretly compares himself to other guys. (him, not me)
13. Having to help pack your bags when you do.
How emasculating.
14. Being vulnerable around you.
Guys go through a lot but never have anyone to tell it to because they fear looking weak.
15. About the size of his, eh, hands.
Get your mind out the gutter.
16. About disappointing you.
This is probably the biggest insecurity we have.
]]>What we can all learn from Leonardo DiCaprio's first Oscar.
By Henry Adeleye on March 4, 2016
Unless you've been living under an actual rock, you probably heard the news of famed actor Leonardo DiCaprio finally winning his first Oscar. After so long, and so many ridiculously good movie roles, he finally brought home gold. Now, there are plenty of people who we'd be perfectly fine with never winning an Oscar, but the fact that he hadn't won one up until now was intriguing, to say the least. It got to the point where I started feeling bad for him. It was like he was Charlie Brown trying to kick the football, and the Oscar voting committee was Lucy pulling it away each and every time. But after many disappointing awards shows and even more hilarious memes, that moment has come. And like pretty much anything, there's a lot to learn from it.
Work Hard
Leo's career began at a very early age. Coming from humble beginnings, he clung to acting as an escape. His career began to take off, playing in movies like Titanic, Inception, and my all-time favorite, Wolf of Wall Street (don't judge). His knack for getting great roles can only be attributed to the amount of work he dedicates to his craft. He's been known to work very closely with his directors to achieve this level of perfection. And it shows.
Stay Humble
There's humble, then there's Kanye. You can probably guess what end of the spectrum Leo falls under. Through his many Oscar defeats by people he's arguably more talented than, he's remained humble and focused. Instead of throwing a fit like when Kanye lost that Grammy (actually, he wasn't even the one who lost), he bounces back and moves on to his next project, diving in with both feet. He never lets a little statue slow him down.
Give Back
It's well-known that, along with eating kale soup and vegan chili, DiCaprio is very concerned with the environment and saving the polar bear. His foundation has awarded over $45M in grants to help support this cause. And he often gives lectures on climate change. It's no coincidence then that the movie he won the Oscar for was related to this concern. It shows how charity always comes back full circle.
Recognition Eventually Comes
Once you do all these things, the recognition always comes eventually. You should never seek it or even be motivated by it. But the way the universe works, it just comes. Awards should never be the end goal (Never dwell on your failures, but even more, never dwell on your successes). But there's no doubt that recognition just makes you feel better. So, always stay hungry. Never get complacent. And keep making your life a movie worth watching.
]]>Do you know what I’m tired of? Small talk and social expectations of being a woman in my mid-twenties. Let me explain.
By Grace Ward on February 26, 2016
This post was originally published on Fall from Grace. Republished with permission.
Do you know what I’m tired of? Small talk and social expectations of being a woman in my mid-twenties. Let me explain.
No matter if I’m talking to an old friend, a new acquaintance, or having a night out with my girlfriends, conversation always seems to turn to marriage. I understand that this is just an element of small talk, but it’s invasive, repetitive, annoying, and often hurtful. If you look at my refrigerator right now, it is a great visual of social expectations for people my age. There are six save-the-date cards hanging there currently, with (at least) four more to come in the next couple months. Marriage is a life event that happens to young people everywhere, and I do hope to get to that stage before too long. However, just because I’m at “prime marriage age” and am in a long-term relationship, that does not mean that I am going to be the next one sending out a save-the-date for all of my friends' refrigerators. SO STOP ASKING.
When people pry about my future marriage plans, it makes me feel very self-conscious. A great example is last night when I met a new person at a friend’s birthday party. When I told the guy I had been dating my boyfriend for about four years, his response was,”How bad is your relationship that you aren’t even engaged yet?” Jaw. Dropped. Are you kidding me? Another example is from a recent conversation with a friend of mine (currently engaged), who would never intentionally say something to make me feel bad. But when she told me that she “knows how upsetting it must be” to see all of our friends getting engaged before me, it did hurt. It made me feel like I needed to be upset about that. I used to pretend that I didn’t care about these comments, but as I get older and more people start to ask me about that aspect of my personal life, all I want to do is walk away.
The frustrating thing is that these types of conversations seem to be exclusively reserved for women. David never gets inundated with the kinds of questions that I do. When I overhear people making small talk with him, it’s often about his career. HEY GUESS WHAT! I HAVE A JOB, TOO! AND I’M IN GRAD SCHOOL! Maybe it’s my inner-feminist coming out, but it really irks me that accomplishments for men seem to revolve around their professional lives, but the number one accomplishment for a woman my age is marriage. GETTING MARRIED IS NOT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. It’s a beautiful thing, but it is not an accomplishment.
I guess the purpose of this post (besides venting) is to urge everyone who reads it to rethink their future small talk. And it doesn’t just go for 20-something girls. When I was in high school, the question I got asked all the time was, “What college do you want to go to?” or “What do you want to do after graduation?” We have all been there and we all know how obnoxious it is to answer those questions a million times over. When small talk occurs, it is filled with presumptuous advice, questions, and observations. Don’t be that person. Don’t assume that an 18-year-old kid is going to go to college. What if he wants to join the Peace Corps? Don’t assume that a married couple is going to have kids. What if they can’t get pregnant? And in regard to me and my fellow unmarried 20-something ladies, do not assume that we are ready for marriage or that something is wrong in our relationship if we are not there yet.
For all of you lovely people who have thought about bringing up marriage to me, but didn’t, thank you. I know that that must be particularly hard for moms and grandparents who want to know when their babies are gonna get hitched, so thank you guys in particular for not being invasive and letting my life happens as it happens. You make me feel like my professional successes are accomplishments, and that makes me feel good.
And for those of you who bombard me on a regular basis with talk about the M word, I know you have never intended to be hurtful towards me or anyone else in my position. But now that you know what you’re doing to my fragile 20-something emotions, please stop.
Love,
The unmarried, but exceptionally happy with her relationship, 20-something.
]]>A response to the recent dilemma facing Apple.
By Henry Adeleye on February 19, 2016
If you could be guaranteed safety by giving up your privacy, would you do it? That is the question Apple and CEO Tim Cook are facing. While previously cooperating in any way they could with the San Bernardino case, the FBI has now asked them to create a "back door" to the iPhone operating system in order to allow them greater access into a phone found on the scene. While we're all sure the FBI has the best intentions in mind, this opens up the possibility that any phone can be accessed more easily by hackers and other people with malintent.
In an open letter, Cook describes the situation and calls for a discussion on the matter, referring to the request for the back door as a "dangerous precedent". And it is. With great freedom comes great risk. It's pretty hard to have one without the other. And with that risk, bad things can and sometimes will happen. It would be great if we never had to worry about bad things occurring, but that's not something worth giving up your freedoms for.
The thought of going through life unchallenged and unthreatened is admittedly very appealing. The world would be a much better place if we didn't have to live with the terrors that plague it. But to give up the right to privacy in exchange for the possibility of utopia just isn't worth it. Freedom is the guarantee of privacy even when you're doing stuff you have no business doing. And that's to make sure that people who are doing what they should be doing get to keep that right as well.
To be clear, there should be no sympathy for acts of terrorism. And everything should be done legally and within reason to thwart those acts. It's just a matter of where we draw the line between freedom and safety, and frankly, who gets to draw that line. Hopefully, this can lead to a greater discussion.
]]>I mean, it IS a leap year.
By Henry Adeleye on February 12, 2016
A funny thing happened today. One of my good friends at work started talking around the office about this rule that states that girls should take guys out for Valentine's Day this year because it's a leap year, and on leap years you do things that you normally wouldn't do. Like get married on February 29th and make it awkward when your anniversary is supposed to come around the next year. Or switch up gender roles.
When he proposed this question to some of the ladies in the office, the conversation actually went much worse than I thought it would. I assumed they'd laugh it off but kind of agree at the same time, or even say that they already take their guys out for Valentine's Day every couple of years. But instead, he was met with utter disdain for even attempting to suggest the matter. So that leads to the question:
Should girls take guys out for Valentine's Day?
With the sudden rise in the number guys being taken to Red Lobster as a reward for various things, this shouldn't even be an issue. And of course, like those Cheddar Bay Biscuits, stuff has to be earned. For instance, my wife is taking me out this year, but I'd also taken her out seven or so times before (sorry, I lost count). So it's not that a girl should be the first one to bite the bullet and plan a date, unless she wants this to happen, but rather that it's a subject that shouldn't be as taboo.
What do you think? Should the gender roles totally flip? Do they not matter any more either way? Should the guy initiate, and then let his lady take the wheel every so often after a few years? Or is Valentine's Day just a stupid made up holiday with a dumb naked baby flying around shooting arrows at people? Something fun to ponder over dinner and/or wine this weekend.
]]>It's ghosting season. Protect yourself.
By Henry Adeleye on February 5, 2016
Ghosting is a relatively new term given to an age-old phenomenon. We always enter new journeys with people hoping for the best, but sometimes things don't quite work out the way we want and they have to come to an end. Usually, there's some sort of closure, some way of getting it across to each other what went wrong and that it's best to part ways. But what's become more common is that one of the people in the relationship just slowly stops calling or responding to texts in order to slip away unnoticed without dealing with the oftentimes painful task of officially breaking things off. This is where ghosting lives. And it's usually around this time of year when ghosting is at its peak. Because Valetine's Day can make things serious when they're not mean to be, people take the opportunity to completely fall off the map to avoid giving off the wrong signals. Before today, you had to deal with it all alone if you'd been ghosted. But now, we're here to help. If you've been a victim of ghosting, here's what you can do to fight back:
First, be sure you've legitimately been ghosted.
Because, you know, stuff really does happen. There are many reasons for ghosting. Maybe they just don't want to move too fast. Maybe they don't want to spend any money on a Valentine's Day date and need a chance to slip away for a few weeks, only to come back like nothing ever happened. Or worst of all, maybe they have another date and are too chicken to tell you straight up for fear of losing one of their options should the person they really want fall through. But there are also legitimate reasons they could have been distant. If they've been standoffish because their dog died or they're a Patriot's fan, they may have just needed some time to cope. So wait a little while before you jump to conclusions.
Call them out on it if you need to get it off your chest. Just not publicly.
But if you find that they're just blowing you off, it's only natural to desire closure even if they don't want to give it to you. Letting them know how they made you feel can do just that. But be sure to send them a private message, call, or voicemail. Just one will suffice. Don't start calling them 20 times a day, and don't stalk them. We'll probably all figure out that you deserved it if you do. And don't call them out publicly. Leave the social media drama for Kanye.
Go ghost on them.
After you let them know how you felt and they subsequently didn't respond to any of your messages or calls, just go ahead and cease all contact. You don't want them to have more ammo on you. And you'll also look ridiculous if you keep pushing the issue. It's important that you don't look ridiculous.
Don't blame yourself.
It's easy to think you're the reason this is happening. But remember, this type of behavior is indicative of the type of person they are, not the type of person you are. It may hurt because, if you think things are going well and suddenly they aren't, you start thinking to yourself, "What in the world happened? What did I do wrong? Did he notice I forgot to put on deodorant the other day? I mean, I sprayed myself with perfume." Remember, it's their fault, not yours.
Be grateful and move on.
Because now you're not stuck chasing something that won't ever happen and you can move on to bigger and better things. Every cloud has a silver lining.
What if they come back?
Usually when ghosting happens around a birthday or holiday, the person eventually comes back when things settle down. What do you do now? There are plenty of signs to let you know that you're being led on. Coming in and out of your life like this is definitely one of them. So, if you let them back in your life and they do it again, there's really nothing anyone can do to help you at that point. So use your head and do what's right.
]]>If you're uncertain about whether or not what you have is official enough, here's how to find out.
By Henry Adeleye on January 29, 2016
Well somehow Valentine's Day just snuck up on us again. It's in two weeks, in case you're still in denial. And you should definitely know whether or not the person you've been spending all this time with should be your date come the 14th of February. I mean, you're doing all the "relationship" things (and probably some of the "marriage" things), so it's only right, right? But in this complicated dating world we find ourselves in, where you're never really "together" even if you're together all the dang time, sometimes you need some reassurance before asking someone out for a holiday that has so many long-term implications. How do you know if it's real? How do you know you won't get rejected? How do you whether or not you should enroll in that geography class B.o.B. is teaching? These are all things you need to know the answer to before jumping the gun. Think over the following questions if you're on the fence about whether or not you should ask that person to be your Valentine this year. If the answer to three or more of these questions indicate that you shouldn't, then well at least you know where you stand:
Is it serious but not that serious?
If yes, ask them out. If it's not even a little serious, don't.
Have you been "talking" longer than three months?
If yes, ask them out. If not, don't.
Do they laugh at your jokes?
If yes, ask them out. If not, they're a mean person and you should end it immediately.
Have you met their friends?
If yes, ask them out. If not, don't.
Have you met their siblings?
If yes, ask them out. If not, you can still ask them out because maybe they hate their siblings.
Have you met their parents?
If yes, you shouldn't even need this list of questions. If not, you can still ask them out because you're just "talking" right? Stop trying to move so fast to become a part of their family!
Are all of the above excited when they see you? Be honest.
If they are and say things like "She/he talks so much about you!", then ask them out. If they laugh silently to each other and send each other text messages in your presence, then don't ask them out.
Do a lot of people know about you two?
If yes, ask them out or you'll be in the doghouse. If not, maybe it's not serious enough yet, so don't.
Do you have any pictures together on social media?
If yes, ask them out or someone else will when they find out you didn't. If not, well it's just social media anyway, right? Right?!
Do you work together?
If yes, ask them out. Avoid the awkward water cooler gossip the next day. Skip this question if you don't.
What type of sound does the color orange make?
Had to throw one in there to make sure you're still paying attention.
Do you live in the same city?
If yes, ask them out. If you live a short enough driving distance, ask them out. If not, don't.
Have you been on an actual date together?
Not have you chilled together? A real date, with strangers around you. If yes, ask them out. If not, don't.
Is there a chance that someone else may ask them out and they will accept?
If yes, don't ask them out. If you can't answer this question, don't ask them out. If you're sure you're the only one, ask them out.
Do you regularly talk on the phone, Skype, or FaceTime each other? Not talking about texting, DMing, or Snapchatting.
If yes, ask them out. If not, well, still ask them out. Because that's how things are done nowadays anyway (sadly).
Are they always "busy"?
If they are, find someone new. If they always have time for you, ask them out.
Do they mention other potential suitors in your presence?
If they do and they accept your Valentine invitation, it could either be because you were the best option or because you were the last resort. This isn't something you should want to contemplate. So don't ask them out if they do. If they don't, the coast is clear.
What's their favorite color?
What do you mean, you don't know?? If you can find out within five minutes, ask them out. If not, they're probably pissed you had to ask.
Good luck!
]]>Studies show that telling kids they're smart or gifted harms them in the long run. Are they right?
By Henry Adeleye on January 22, 2016
In today's ever more critical society, a new rule has emerged from the pits of hipster parenting. My wife, who is a teacher at a gifted school, stumbled across a book that says that it is detrimental to tell young and growing kids that they're smart. Because they may actually start to believe it, and who knows what damage that will cause if that happens? In disbelief, I did a little research of my own and found that this idea is not only real, but is a growing trend. The most recent purveyor of this, Professor of Mathematics at Stanford University, Jo Boaler, suggests that labeling your kid as 'smart' makes them feel they can do no wrong and creates a stagnant life for them as adults. So is she right, or is this just another case of thinking that taking a kid's trophy away will make them a better person? Let's get into it.
Boaler believes that the 'S word,' as she calls it, should be retired completely. She points to the following as a reason that there's a growing movement to do so.
The idea is that when we praise kids for being smart, those kids think: 'Oh good, I'm smart.' And then later, when those kids mess up, which they will, they think: 'Oh no, I'm not smart after all. People will think I'm not smart after all.' And that's the worst. That's a risk to avoid, they learn. 'Smart' kids stand to become especially averse to making mistakes, which are critical to learning and succeeding.
She instead thinks that parents should use situation-specific responses such as, "You did a great job!" or "You worked really hard, and it paid off!". Other phrases she thinks should also be banned include calling someone a "math person" or a "science person", or even just a "person," because animals may get offended (ok, I made that last one up). According to her, these phrases don't offer the opportunity for growth. Additionally, when a child gets a perfect score on a test, she advises parents to show sympathy toward the child because they didn't get a chance to learn from their mistakes. In essence, you should say, "Sorry you weren't challenged enough and didn't get the opportunity to fail this test."
In her opinion, the demographic most damaged by the notion of calling kids smart is high-achieving girls. The reason for this is very simple.
Because it's girls who are told by society that they probably won't be as good as boys at math and science. That means girls are only more likely to avoid challenging themselves in science and math, and that aversion to making mistakes leads to less learning and progress. The more that certain disciplines cling to ideas of giftedness, the fewer female PhDs there are in those fields.
So, because a lot girls are told that they're not as smart as boys when it comes to math and science, they're less likely to challenge themselves in those subjects. But, doesn't that mean that telling girls they're smart more often will...never mind. And therein lies the issue.
Telling kids they're smart can actually be just the kick they need to instill confidence in them. Do we tell kids they can't sing, or aren't good at sports, or that they suck at playing instruments? No, because we want them to be able to excel at anything they put their minds to and not be discouraged. So why shouldn't we do the same with academics?
Should we remove IQ tests for kids? Or the schools that require them for admission? Should we get rid of gifted programs for fear that the child may actually start to think that he or she is gifted? Sometimes all a kid needs in order to challenge themselves is to believe that they're good enough to be able to conquer the challenge. The first step to achieving any goal is to believe you're smart enough achieve it.
Of course, giving children the impression that being smart means you can't make mistakes is admittedly a bad idea. Mistakes are necessary for growth. And smart people make mistakes. But there's no harm in letting a kid know they have what it takes. Parents are constantly being told that everything they say or do can damage their kids. They're forced to tiptoe around them or else they'll destroy their self-esteem. Kids (and adults, especially adults) will always mess up. It's called life. But it won't be because someone called them smart.
]]>In a radio interview with Dr. Edward Zuckerberg, Mark Zuckerberg's father, he retraces the steps he took as a parent that may have lead the Facebook founder to where he is today.
By Henry Adeleye on January 15, 2015
If you're reading this it's too late. Most likely you didn't win the Powerball. Because I'm pretty sure you'd be hiding under a rock until all the fanfare died off if you did win it. But just because you didn't win the lottery, that doesn't mean all your easy money hopes are lost. In fact, there's actually an easier way to get to that lifestyle. Just raise the next Mark Zuckerberg and use your influence as their parent to guilt trip them into giving you a sizeable portion of their fortune. Sounds simple enough, but there's one problem. How in the heck do you raise the next Zuck? Well, I'm glad you asked because in a radio interview I stumbled upon, his dad tells you how to do just that. Of course, results may vary and you may do some things differently that end up working better. And also all the cliches about every child is important and an individual and you shouldn't put the idea in their heads that they have to reach unreachable goals. Ok, now that that's out, back to the good stuff. Here are a couple of takeaways from the interview that can be helpful in raising your own child up to climb to incredible heights:
Have a hustle mentality
Dr. Zuckerberg ran his own dental practice out of his house (kind of creepy when you think about it), but you don't even have to take it that far. Just showing them the grit of going after something you believe in, whether it be volunteering at the local shelter or selling your artwork on the side, can do wonders to a kid's psyche and implant in them the desire to push life to the limits.
Balance work and play
During the interivew, Dr. Zuckerberg was asked about a book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” which suggests that parents should push their children to succeed academically by limiting extracurricular activities. His response to that was, "I think that extremes in any form in parenting are not good. Children need to be well-rounded. There’s a place for work and a place for play.” Some of the best ideas originate from being able to mess around and experience the world on your own terms. Let them do that.
Nurture an environment where they're exposed to different interests
On how Mark came to take a liking to technology, Dr. Zuckerberg said that his dental office had “always been technologically oriented,” and that he “always had the latest high-tech toys,” including an early Atari which “came with a disk for programming...I thought Mark might be interested and I imparted that knowledge to him. From there it took off.” The importance of letting kids experience different things so they can find out what they're good at can be super important when they're nearing adulthood and want to look back to the past to figure out what problem in the world they want to solve. That's how a lot of people figure out what it is they really want to do.
Provide security for them
While we always hear the glory stories of kids starting from nothing and making it big, it's more likely that your kids will be willing to take a calculated risk if they have a safety net to fall back on. It's also easier for them to get startup capital from their parents than it is to get it from Mr. Wonderful. In the case of Dr. Zuckerberg, he worked diligently to provide a secure life long before he even thought of having kids. "Growing up Jewish in New York City," he said, "if you had half a brain, your parents wanted you to be a doctor or a dentist." And so he set out to become the latter.
Discover and support your kids' passions
“Probably the best thing I can say is something that my wife and I have always believed in,” he said. “Rather than impose upon your kids or try and steer their lives in a certain direction, to recognize what their strengths are and support their strengths and support the development of the things they’re passionate about.” In other words, don't be the helicopter parent who tries to plan out your kids' entire lives. Instead, provide guidance on the things they're already leaning towards.
Give praise
In the interview, Dr. Zuckerberg showered praise on all of his kids. At a time when people are saying you shouldn't tell your kids they're smart, a little praise can go a long way in building confidence. (Will have to go more into this in another segment.)
But also be sure to set boundaries
Finally, Dr. Zuckerberg said he “didn’t believe in physical discipline” but said that certain behaviors warrant you telling your child “right there on the spot, this is a behavior that will not be tolerated. If you impart your dislikes about certain negative behaviors early in their lives, they will learn to understand what your feelings on certain matters are.” It's easier to raise strong children than to fix broken men, or women. So, take everything here and set your kids (and yourself) up for success.
]]>What's that one big thing that you really want to make happen this year? Focus on that.
By Henry Adeleye on January 1, 2016
It's the first day of 2016. Be prepared to write 2015 by accident for a few weeks (I mistakenly wrote 2015 here twice already and this article hasn't even started). Be prepared to see all the gyms crowded for a few weeks. And most of all, be prepared to see people's New Year's resolutions fire up, then come to a slow, deathly sizzle after a few weeks. These things are as certain as hearing Hotline Bling 20 times last night was.
For some reason, we all have big hopes at the beginning of each year, only to let life get in the way and cause your train of thought to derail and fall into the cold, cold water below. We want to make better strides each year, but the problem is that we try to do too many things all at once. It's hard to lose 30 pounds, get your dream job, and stop global warming when you also plan to run for president, governor, mayor, and carpool captain.
This year, instead of doing all those things, just focus on one really big and measurable goal, and make it your job to reach it no matter what. What's that one big thing that you really want to make happen this year? Focus on that. There's power in simplicity. There's strength in being able to say no to a million things in order to say yes to the things that really matter.
If you want to go back to school, make that your singular focus. If you want to become be more healthy, make that your singular focus. If you want to book four more clients per week, make that your singular focus. If you want to marry Donald Trump, make that your singular focus. Of course, we don't live in a bubble and you can't literally focus on only one thing when you have other responsibilities like making sure you don't starve to death, but once you start moving towards that one big thing, the little things will happen to fall into place. Or at least that's how it's supposed to work.
So, let's make sure you don't fall into the trap. Fulfilling one resolution completely is better than half-doing 10. Make that step forward that you've been wanting to make. You deserve it. Start 2016 strong. But even more important, finish it strong too.
]]>Pics from a chic wedding cupcake tower for the Keeli and Brenton Brown wedding.
By Kupcakerie on December 18, 2015 @kupcakerie
Weddings are some of the most precious things a person can be a part of. The importance of the wedding day can cause even the most strong and steadfast of us to become a nervous ball of nothingness. It is because of this great importance that it is truly an honor to be a part of someone's special day. Last Saturday, we got to do just that. We helped make Keeli and Brenton Brown's day even more special by providing their wedding cake. They are a young couple ready to make their mark on the world, and everything they put into this day proved that. Following their tasting, they decided to go with strawberry and vanilla as their cupcake flavors, and a strawberry cutting cake to top everything off. We ended up with a 200-cupcake purple strawberry and vanilla wedding tower to match their wedding colors, and topped it all off with a two-tier strawberry cutting cake wrapped in purple satin. Check out some of the pics below.